I need to talk about Harvey. He is a real puzzle to me.

These are the things I know for sure:

1. His speech is delayed. He is making lots of progress, with lots of work, but we have a long ways to go. This alone is not overly alarming. However, for Harvey, to learn a word once or twice, or ten times is not necessarily the same as knowing that word. He might not retain it. If he does, he might overgeneralize it. Last week, for example, he knew what sound a dog makes. This week, I'm not entirely convinced. It is quite possible that the speech delay will resolve itself in time, without intervention. We choose to help him learn sooner, though, because we do not want it to delay other important milestones, such as learning to read or potty training. It is good also, to work on some things before Harvey is old enough to feel self-conscious about it. Right?

2. Along the same vein, his receptive language is delayed. If I ask him to bring me his shoes, or throw something away, or wait by the door, he either has no idea what I am talking about, or is really good at pretending not to know. Sometimes he knows. If I say "bring me your bellybutton, so I can tickle it" he gets a big grin, lifts up his shirt, and rushes right over. If I say "let's go swing" he is immediately running to the nearest swing. You might be saying to yourself "Harvey must be doing only what he wants to do." I agree that this is a possibility, although Harvey also loves to "go outside", or "have a treat", or "visit grandma" and he doesn't understand when I say those things. Also, I think much of the time he understands when he is being naughty, because of the way he checks over his shoulder to see if I am watching.

2. Harvey needs his proprioceptive (and, to a lesser degree, vestibular) input as much as you and I need water. Whether it's jumping on his trampoline, bouncing on a horse, having a massage, sitting in his hammock, swinging, or running down the hall and crashing onto the couch, a steady diet of input is mandatory for him to function. If I fail to provide it to him, he will bang on furniture. If he's really desperate, he might bang his head.

3. Harvey does not seem to learn very quickly in a natural, relaxed enviorment. He doesn't pick up on things naturally as he goes about his day. We have to sit down and have "learning time." We have to make a conscious effort. This seems atypical to me.

4. Number three is only true part of the time. Harvey can recognize songs. Whether they are on the radio, or on the television, or playing over the speakers at the grocery store, he can pick them out faster than I can. This is evident by his array of carefully calculated dance moves. :) They are consistent each time a familiar song plays. They are the same moves in the same parts of the same songs. Like they're choreographed, except he's two, and his list of moves only includes bouncing at the knee, shaking his head, banging his head, clapping his hands, waving his arms, spinning in a circle, or pretending to fly (I've only seen this last move in the Buzz Lightyear song.)

5. Furthermore, he can "organize" fifty different pieces of laundry into six piles, and remember where each piece goes three days later when I try to put it all back in the drawers. He'll pull them all out again and sort them into the EXACT SAME piles. He can also organize rocks, sticks, fruit snacks, and legos.

6. If he goes in to horse riding lessons carrying six matchbox cars, and at the end of horseriding lessons we start to walk out with only four match box cars, he knows exactly how many cars are missing, or at least which ones they are. He might not know the numbers four and six, but he knows he is missing the police car and the truck. He won't leave until we have them all.

7. His teacher keeps using the words "autistic tendencies." This phrase makes me want to pull out patches of my own hair. What does she mean by that? Autistic? Is she trying to tell me he is autistic? Today I asked her. "Well," she said "It's hard to say. He doesn't have many signs, but he has a few." Then she lists the concerns I just talked about. Then she says BUT! "But! He is very affectionate. He doesn't have echolalia. He can play "pretend" games. He learns quickly in a structured setting." I wonder if I should take him back to the doctor, and ask him. I suspect that if I showed up every month, begging for an explanation, asking for evaluations and EEGs and tests, he might say "autism" just to try to satisfy my questions. But, as Harvey's teacher points out, it wouldn't really satisfy my questions. I would still do all the same things I am doing now: speech therapy, occupational therapy, floor-time classes for parents, "learning box," horse riding. Ect. Maybe "autistic tendencies" really is enough of an explanation.

8. That is not to say that we should say "it's normal" and hope it goes away. Maybe it is normal. Lots of kids bang toys. Lots of kids don't talk until they are 3 or 4. Lots of kids are active. But, in reality, there are a somewhat alarming number and combinations of "normal" happening here, and surely it's better to address them than ignore them. I'd rather err on the side of caution as long as Harvey is happy.

9. Finally, I think that my most nagging questions are about the future. How will this affect him? Hopefully, and probably, it won't. Parhaps we will just have to learn how best to deal with it. Just in case, we have him on the waiting list for the GOOD early intervention pre-school next year, when he is too old for Kids-on-The-Move. Further into the future, maybe we should plan on some sports and music lessons. Maybe I should consult with his teachers about the possibility of staring kindergarten at six, or doing some home schooling part of the time. Maybe I should seek out the classrooms with the most proprioceptive activities. That is my plan. Just in case. It's all I could come up with. ... ... ...Weak, huh? Bleh. Help.